If you’re in the U.S., or familiar with current U.S. sitcoms, you might know Phil Dunphy, the self-described “cool dad” on Modern Family.

Phil is likable, loyal, goofy, pun-happy, and often the subject of wife Clare’s frustration and eye rolls as he tries hard to do right by her and often (cluelessly) gets it wrong.

We’re continuing last week’s focus on building trust at a distance because it’s a challenge for so many of us.

Here’s a quick recap of the first four best practices, all of which increase familiarity—a sense of knowing one another—by increasing reliability:

At the risk of stating the obvious, trust is critical for teams, and even more so for teams who collaborate at a distance. In my workshops, we talk a lot about making closer and more personal connections with people, and the question naturally arises, “Is it even possible to build that kind of trust at a distance?”

Looks like I’m on a bit of a roll with the sales topic. That’s partly because the topic is germane no matter what title your business card indicates (every single one of us is selling ideas), and partly because there’s so much really bad advice out there about how to do it.

Everyone loves to buy. No one likes to be sold—not you, and not your clients. That’s for good reason, because “selling” gets a deservedly bad rap. Even in the dictionary, the verb “to sell” is linked to imposing, cheating and betrayal.

It happened again, just last week. We’re on a teleconference call. Charlie and I are the buyers. We’re joined by a salesperson. A couple of our team members beep in and the call officially begins. Sales Guy leads brief introductions for all attending. Good. We exchange a few pleasantries. Nice. Then Sales Guy does the thing I hate most.

I work with a lot of really smart clients who aren’t arrogant at all, they just come across that way. Sometimes their clients let them know it’s a problem; other times instead of feedback they get tuned out.

Intimacy gets a lot of real estate on these virtual pages, and for good reason: trusted advisors are safe havens for tough issues, and intimacy is what earns you that safe haven designation. Today: a slightly different take on intimacy, with two reminders about how to build it in a way that can actually be—dare I say it—fun.

We all know that bumper sticker: “Stuff happens” (well, that’s the G-rated version). Sometimes things just don’t go well. Problems occur. It might even be your fault. The question is: can you recover the trust you may have lost in the process?

Influencing by listening is not easy for most. Business people in particular are well-trained to think in linear terms, to count on the power of logic, and to believe in persuasion by PowerPoint. So when I say, “To influence, you must listen,” it probably sounds like, “In order to do something, don’t do anything.”