Have you ever been annoyed by someone, only to have them teach you a really valuable lesson?

That happened today.

It seems I’m destined to have car trouble, and to therefore develop close relationships with auto service people. Years ago, a mechanic screwed up in a big way and taught me a valuable lesson about how mistakes can build trust. A few weeks ago, a service rep reminded me just how much the medium shapes the message.

You know that trust doesn’t just happen. It gets created person-to-person, and usually through conversations. The trust creation process, which was first shared by my co-author Charlie Green in his book The Trusted Advisor, is a five-step model describing how it works: engage, listen, frame, envision, and commit (“ELFEC” for short).

In 2013 my colleague and friend Jake Breeden published his first book—equal parts exciting and nerve-wracking, I’m sure, as it is for most authors. He sent a mass email to his subscriber list announcing the book’s long-awaited release.

I spend a lot of Weekly Tips real estate focused on one-on-one interactions with people—trust is personal, after all. Even when it does make sense to say a group or an organization is credible or careful or focused on your interests, the reference is usually to the people in it.

Are you game to try something with me?

Close your eyes and bring to mind your own trusted advisor—a person who is your safe haven for tough issues. Think of someone you can talk to about a wide range of topics, including sensitive ones both professional and personal.

There have been a few things in the news lately that have caught my attention. Last week, I wrote about ways to support a client who’s grieving, thanks to lessons offered by a well-known U.S. executive. This week takes a more upbeat turn with a lesson drawn from the world of U.S. horse racing.

Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg recently marked the end of her first 30 days of mourning for her late husband. Dave Goldberg died unexpectedly while they were vacationing in Mexico. On the last day of sheloshim, which marks the completion of religious mourning for a spouse, she shared a compelling and beautifully-written post on … well, Facebook, of course.

When I wrote last week’s tip I re-read David Maister’s article, “Young Professionals: Cultivate the Habits of Friendship.” Anything but a missive for junior folk, it’s chock full of wisdom for professionals of any age and experience level.

Last week’s tip about the friendly computer-generated message got me thinking more about the role that friendship skills play in business, and particularly in sales.