I had an experience with a bank recently that provides a cautionary tale that far too many in professional services need to hear and learn from. It has to do with how we respond when we feel threatened, and the short- and long-term risks of what might seem like a heroic move.

A couple of tips ago, we were talking about the three most common pitfalls when a group of people is newly forming to get stuff done, and I promised to continue with specific ways to kick off a project or task on the right foot. The unbearably long wait has finally ended.

There’s no tip this week. It’s Wednesday a.m. right now (tips go out on Tuesday). I just had an honest conversation with myself about the reality of getting a tip out and, well, you see the outcome. Before I sign off, though, I’m going to take a moment to reflect on what happens when you fail to deliver on promises, and how to salvage trust in the process. (So I guess that makes this a partial tip.)

So you’ve won the job. The celebrations are over; the contracts are being drawn up. Now it’s time to actually begin the work. After the high tension and adrenaline of the process leading up to now, it’s tempting to take a deep breath and take it easy. And while it’s true that you are probably more effective if you relax, it’s not true that you can just kick back.

I’m not a big fan of small talk. I don’t like doing anything that seems superficial or disingenuous. Plus, I’m an introvert. And every once-in-a-while I still feel like the ridiculously shy kid I once was. So small talk also seems like large effort.

There’s a simple practice I do with potential clients about 60% of the time that I realized recently I should do 100% of the time. It takes some effort (though not a lot) and usually has really big payback.

A client told me about a new management book the other day. The title got my attention (Radical Candor: Being a Kickass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity), though I’ll admit I was still poised to be unimpressed by yet another book on transparency/authenticity/yada yada yada.

Business leaders often want to motivate their staff with pep talks on innovation, creativity, and change. Thought leader Brené Brown upends that approach by making a case for focusing on—wait for it—vulnerability.

I’m a big fan of stories as vivid illustrations of things that matter and make a difference when it comes to trust-building. This week’s tip is based on a short and compelling one from The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook.

I don’t pretend to know everything it takes to be a great leader. I do know that I have tremendous respect for business people who are calm, decisive, energized, and really present. I also know that I’m at my professional worst when I’m frenzied, unfocused, tired, distracted. And I’ve noticed that I often get bogged down by a most curious phenomenon: clutter.