The story of a recent email exchange between an employee and her CEO caught my eye, thanks to a colleague who made sure it did. Important trust lessons lie within about (1) the merits of candor and (2) the importance of giving ourselves a certain kind of break.

 

It’s vacation time in the U.S. when most of us try to squeeze as much as possible out of what remains of summer. Out-of-office messages abound. Are you making the most of yours?

 

I led a workshop just last week for a group of super smart people in a super high-tech industry. We talked right away about how trust is personal, as usual. And right away, the question arose, “But when do you know if you’re being too personal? How do you know where to draw the line?”

A client of mine who’s based in India once told a story that perfectly illustrates the value of candor as a quick credibility-builder (say that 10 times fast). Sriram works for a global consulting firm. Charlie and I included his story in The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook. I’ll let Sriram tell it to you himself:

Cautionary tales seem to be a theme right now. In last week’s tip, I shared one about how we respond when we feel threatened—as in, when we might lose business. This week, it’s about using the bcc (blind copy) option in email.

 

I had an experience with a bank recently that provides a cautionary tale that far too many in professional services need to hear and learn from. It has to do with how we respond when we feel threatened, and the short- and long-term risks of what might seem like a heroic move.

A couple of tips ago, we were talking about the three most common pitfalls when a group of people is newly forming to get stuff done, and I promised to continue with specific ways to kick off a project or task on the right foot. The unbearably long wait has finally ended.

There’s no tip this week. It’s Wednesday a.m. right now (tips go out on Tuesday). I just had an honest conversation with myself about the reality of getting a tip out and, well, you see the outcome. Before I sign off, though, I’m going to take a moment to reflect on what happens when you fail to deliver on promises, and how to salvage trust in the process. (So I guess that makes this a partial tip.)

 

So you’ve won the job. The celebrations are over; the contracts are being drawn up. Now it’s time to actually begin the work. After the high tension and adrenaline of the process leading up to now, it’s tempting to take a deep breath and take it easy. And while it’s true that you are probably more effective if you relax, it’s not true that you can just kick back.

 

I’m not a big fan of small talk. I don’t like doing anything that seems superficial or disingenuous. Plus, I’m an introvert. And every once-in-a-while I still feel like the ridiculously shy kid I once was. So small talk also seems like large effort.