Masterful listening is one of the fastest ways to build intimacy in any relationship. It’s also an essential (albeit unexpected) driver of influence. To help the cause, there’s another new eBook on the street—a hand-picked collection of simple and underused listening best practices.

2018 ended on a humbling note for me in some important ways, including a couple of screw-ups on my part. Nothing earth-shattering or life-threatening, just lesson-inducing. I’m sharing the most recent screw-up—and the learning it recalled—because, as usual, I think we can all benefit.

The screw-up: I got triggered by a question that someone (innocently) asked me via email and indulged in my reactive state by sending a lengthy and negative reply. What’s worse, it was relatively late in the evening and I prefaced it with, “I don’t really have the bandwidth to talk about this right now” … yet I continued on. I next admitted to being triggered in a self-congratulatory way (‘Look how insightful I am!’) And then I proceeded to dump all over her in writing. Class act LOL.

I’ve been writing a lot about screw-ups lately (mostly mine). This week brings a little reprieve in order to focus on sales mastery. Don’t worry, there are more screw-ups in the queue.

In looking over the 229 tips I have written to date, I’ve apparently had a lot to say about what’s wrong with conventional sales training and practices.

The recent onslaught of holiday messaging (emails, cards, etc.) has brought some important lessons to my attention—specifically, do’s and don’ts for your next client reach-outs.

Last week’s tip about my bruised ego got me thinking about a conversation that’s been coming up a lot in our workshops lately: the actions you choose to take (or not) in the days, weeks, and months following a lost proposal or lost project. Unfortunately, what’s all-too typical isn’t all-too trustworthy.

I got a pretty big hit to my ego the other day, and I’d rather not tell anyone about it, only I’m doing it anyway. In some ways this missive is all about me, though in other ways it’s really about all of us, and the ways we deal with professional disappointment. This topic matters because I don’t believe we ever achieve our full potential for success until we learn to fail well, and disappointment is failure’s close cousin. I’ve always admired others who speak about their less stellar moments with candor, clarity, and humor.