Some years ago, I had an experience with an airline that shed light on the difference between a fake win-win and a real win-win. In short, the difference boiled down to incentives. The lesson for us all:  mind your motives. Are yours always as squeaky clean as they could be?

We’re continuing our focus on trust-based networking from last week, because it’s a challenge for so many.

Networking has been a hot topic in my workshops lately because most of my clients honestly dislike it. Some are good at pretending to like it, while others find clever ways to avoid it. In the good news realm, it doesn’t have to be that way; specific best practices can help.

One thing I find to be universally true with the consulting profession is that efforts to be more effective with sales/business development never focus enough on the psychology of buying/selling. Today’s tip aims to tip the scales with three important insights.

You know you need to do a better job with some aspect of relationship-building—like be more proactive with your client reach-outs—but you don’t do it. Repeatedly. Why is that? Keep reading to find out the (likely) real reason, and the best remedy.

We all know that bumper sticker, “Sh—happens.” Sometimes things don’t go well. Occasionally it’s even your fault. How masterful are you at trust recovery when that’s the case? Rate yourself using these six keys to find out.

A competency model won’t answer the mail when it comes to building trustworthiness—in fact, there’s risk in attempting to reduce trust to a series of behavioral definitions. At the same time, there is value in culling down the essential skills of a trusted advisor to a practical number. Charlie Green and I specifically identified five in The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook. Heads up:  each skill is at risk of being easily dismissed as too basic to merit your attention. Don’t be fooled.

Adam Grant shares a compelling story in his book Originals: How Nonconformists Move the World, from which every single person who has ever attempted to be influential can learn. The big lesson within it flies in the face of just about every piece of wisdom out there on how to be compelling and build others’ confidence in you—which is, of course, why I love it so much.

I have yet to meet someone in a consultative role who doesn’t understand—and even extoll—the virtues of listening. I have also yet to meet someone who doesn’t have room to improve, including myself. Today’s tip features a four-point assessment to help you hone your listening skill.

Leading workshops on how to build lasting, trust-based relationships requires me to interact with new people all the time. In fact, I’m preparing to meet 54 strangers on Thursday. To be effective I have to strive to model all the interpersonal skills I espouse … always. So, you’ll appreciate the irony when I say I really hate meeting new people. And whether you’re like me or not, there’s a lesson I’ve learned about managing this conundrum that applies to us all.