I recently failed to follow the advice that Charlie and I offer in The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook about talking price. I hate it when that happens. And while I don’t like admitting it much either, it’s therapeutic to do so … and potentially helpful for you. So here I am.

Have you ever felt bullied by a client? Or at least a little intimidated? Today’s inspiration for what to do comes from a client of mine who once shared with me how he dealt with his own difficult customer.

The last few weeks have been unusually demanding for me, including a lot of overseas travel and many intense days leading learning programs. About two-thirds into this recent sprint I found myself dragging—big time. Fortunately for my clients and for me, I remembered a little trick I use to help me refocus and re-energize.

If you’ve been to one of my workshops, you’ve probably heard me say, “Trusted advisorship is, first and foremost, an inside job.” In other words, being masterful in your relationships starts with you … mastering you. This week’s tip is a compilation of resources to help with exactly that.

 

I recently came across two great best practices for building trust virtually: one to use with your team and one to use with your clients.

For your team: A virtual happy hour. I hosted one of these a few weeks ago. We gathered various members of my team from various parts of the US (including different time zones) for 45 minutes using Zoom, so we were all on video. We called it a “happy hour” (as the old saying goes, it’s 5 o’clock somewhere) and I invited everyone to join with their drink of choice—alcoholic or otherwise.

If you’ve been to one of our workshops, you know we emphasize the importance of paraphrasing and empathizing as critical listening skills, and therefore critical influencing skills. These are not mere nice-to-haves in your trusted advisor toolkit. Master these two skills—no kidding and genuinely—and you’ve got a really good chance of being seen by clients as more than just a smart problem solver. “Genuinely,” of course, is a key word, which can be a challenge.

 

By now you likely know I’m an advocate for personal risk-taking in your relationships as a necessary part of building trust. If you’ve practiced what I preach, you may have found yourself in an uncomfortable spot or two as a result. It happens; that’s why we call it a “risk.” Here are three tips for what to do when your risk-taking leads to … crickets.

 

I had a simple yet profound experience with a customer support person the other day. It reminded me of something we should all be doing regularly with our clients.

I was online trying to troubleshoot an issue with my Mac (yes, I did the Big Switch earlier this year after a gazillion years working with PCs).

There’s a long-standing epidemic that extends to just about anyone who has attended consulting skills training. You might even be asymptomatic—in other words, you don’t realize you’re suffering. Read on to find out what it is and what to do about it.

The problem, as was recently identified by Charlie Green on the TrustMatters blog, is question obsession.

You may be totally bought into trust-building as the ultimate differentiator for people in professional services but wishing for a way to convince others to see it that way. Or you may find yourself wishing for a refresher on why trust is so important to your work. Either way, this week’s tip will help.

Consider the following scenario, a variation of which was offered in The Trusted Advisor.