This post is part of our Weekly Tips series.

If you’ve been to one of my workshops, you’ve probably heard me say, “Trusted advisorship is, first and foremost, an inside job.” In other words, being masterful in your relationships starts with you … mastering you. This week’s tip is a compilation of resources to help with exactly that.

  • Reflect and take ownership. While it takes two to tango, it only takes one to make the tango better. As much as I’d like to point a finger over there when a relationship isn’t working as I’d like it to, I know the only person I have any agency over is me. Use these five questions to unlock any relationship issue. Because change for the better starts with you. 

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  • Have the courage to be yourself. Conversations about authenticity come up in our workshops a lot. In the face of encouragement to be real, questions arise like, “Can I really be myself? What if my natural style is totally different from my client’s?” The answer lies in being ourselves in a way that also honors and serves others. A practical (and inspiring) example of exactly that can be found here. Finding what I call your own authentic range will also help you adjust to others without compromising your integrity.
  • “Relax your mind.” Yeah, it might sound a little woo-woo. Charlie Green and I originally defined “relax your mind” as a way to keep your self-orientation in check—an imperative to train your brain to notice its random, incessant chatter that brings your focus toward you and away from others, especially in conversation. I’ve come to see it as an even broader imperative to stay grounded and centered, to keep stress levels as low as possible, and to maintain perspective in general. I know too many professionals who are both tired and distracted. A lot. We have to do something about that if we want to be at our very best. But what? You’ll find concrete tips here.

The more self-aware you are, the better you are able to manage yourself. The better you manage yourself, the more trust you build.

How often do you employ best practices that bring out the best you?

Make It Real

This week, try on at least one thing from the list above: reflect and take ownership, be yourself, and/or “relax your mind.” What do you discover?

Learn More


Read more about how knowing yourself means four things, from our friends at Trusted Advisor Associates, or brush up on specific ways to turn blind spots into insights in Chapter 10 of The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook.

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Andrea Howe

As the founder of The Get Real Project, I am the steward of our vision and our service offerings, as well as a workshop leader and keynote speaker. Above all else, I am an entrepreneur on a mission: to kick conventional business wisdom to the curb and transform how people work together as a result. I am also the co-author, with Charles H. Green, of The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook (Wiley, 2012).