Have you ever been annoyed by someone, only to have them teach you a really valuable lesson?

That happened today.

It seems I’m destined to have car trouble, and to therefore develop close relationships with auto service people. Years ago, a mechanic screwed up in a big way and taught me a valuable lesson about how mistakes can build trust. A few weeks ago, a service rep reminded me just how much the medium shapes the message.

You know that trust doesn’t just happen. It gets created person-to-person, and usually through conversations. The trust creation process, which was first shared by my co-author Charlie Green in his book The Trusted Advisor, is a five-step model describing how it works: engage, listen, frame, envision, and commit (“ELFEC” for short).

In 2013 my colleague and friend Jake Breeden published his first book—equal parts exciting and nerve-wracking, I’m sure, as it is for most authors. He sent a mass email to his subscriber list announcing the book’s long-awaited release.

I spend a lot of Weekly Tips real estate focused on one-on-one interactions with people—trust is personal, after all. Even when it does make sense to say a group or an organization is credible or careful or focused on your interests, the reference is usually to the people in it.