I’m always on the lookout for examples of distinctive—and real—communications. This week’s tip features a great illustration from the software development world. While techies aren’t usually known for their interpersonal prowess (I can say that because I used to be one), in this case we could all borrow a page from their book.

I have a client who’s a senior leader in a large consulting firm and looking hard at whether or not it’s time to go elsewhere. This isn’t a trivial move as there are many years of investment to consider (mental, emotional, financial). He’s seriously exploring his options anyway. Not surprisingly, he’s being recruited by several other companies (all competitors with his current firm). One of them made an unconventional offer as part of the courtship that’s well worth sharing here—not to mention finding ways to emulate.

We had a really interesting discussion in a team meeting the other day about a trust-building technique that we’ve been espousing for years (one that Charlie Green first wrote about in Trust-Based Selling in 2005 and has been a favorite of mine ever since he taught it to me). We talked about how that technique, when used by women, might unintentionally compromise their trust-building efforts in a big way. This week’s tip digs a little deeper into the issue and proposes a solution that actually applies to women as well as men.

I’ve been mining The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook for stories lately—like the one about Harold the client for life, the one about how saying “no” can transform a relationship, and the one about a surprising way out of a thorny problem. Here’s one more favorite (for now) about the risks of not taking a risk.

A few weeks ago, I re-told Jane’s story from The Fieldbook about the power of discovering a blind spot. This week I’m featuring a story about Wayne and me, with a lesson about how saying “no” can transform a relationship.