This post is part of our Weekly Tips series.
This week’s tip is brought to you thanks to my extraordinary partnership with my co-author, Charlie Green. It’s an excerpt from a script we’ve written (and will be recording soon) for our new video learning library, and it answers this question:
What do you do when your clients or colleagues are untrustworthy?
In these cases, most of us humans follow our baser instincts to minimize risk. We avoid confrontation. We point the finger at them.
Therein lies a problem, unfortunately. If you blame others, but don’t address the issues directly, then you’re not being trustworthy because you’re not speaking the truth. If you talk about others behind their backs, then you’re not being trustworthy because you’re working around the relationship, not on it.
If you’re serious about increasing the level of trust in your relationships, you have to help lead the change when trust is missing. Which requires risk-taking—yours.
On the upside, there are three relatively simple steps you can follow to constructively confront someone you feel is untrustworthy:
Of course there are times when you simply can’t live with the outcome. Knowing when and how to choose your battles is important. So is having principles worth fighting for. Just be careful here: human nature will always have us overrate the number of situations that truly can’t be recovered.
Here’s the bottom line: People sometimes behave badly. The question is: How will you show up as a leader in response?
This week, take a good hard look at the people you don’t trust. Complete at least step 1 for at least one of them. What do you see now that you didn’t see before?