I work with a lot of really smart clients who aren’t arrogant at all, they just come across that way. Sometimes their clients let them know it’s a problem; other times instead of feedback they get tuned out.

Intimacy gets a lot of real estate on these virtual pages, and for good reason: trusted advisors are safe havens for tough issues, and intimacy is what earns you that safe haven designation. Today: a slightly different take on intimacy, with two reminders about how to build it in a way that can actually be—dare I say it—fun.

We all know that bumper sticker: “Stuff happens” (well, that’s the G-rated version). Sometimes things just don’t go well. Problems occur. It might even be your fault. The question is: can you recover the trust you may have lost in the process?

Influencing by listening is not easy for most. Business people in particular are well-trained to think in linear terms, to count on the power of logic, and to believe in persuasion by PowerPoint. So when I say, “To influence, you must listen,” it probably sounds like, “In order to do something, don’t do anything.”

I caught myself in the act of being both a chicken and a hypocrite the other day. A double-whammy. I’m telling you about it in case you can relate, and maybe even benefit.