This post is part of our Weekly Tips series.
In my workshops on trusted advisorship and trust-based selling, I often ask participants to indicate, by a show of hands, who has ever had the experience of giving good advice only to have it not be taken. Invariably, nearly all the hands in the room go up.
[Tweet “#TopTip2015 There’s a reason people aren’t listening to your advice. It’s an unexpected one. http://bit.ly/1U8YuGG”]
Looking at your own experience, this may even happen to you on a regular basis—especially if you have teenagers at home.
The question is, why does this happen? You’re very confident about your advice; you know the right thing to do on a given issue. Let’s even say that you are, in fact, right. You advise your client or colleague or direct report (or kid) to do the right thing, and … with apparent disregard for all things logical, he chooses another option.
That’s because trust and influence go hand in hand. The more someone trusts you, the more likely he is to be influenced by you. The less someone trusts you, the less likely he is to be influenced by you. So hands go up more often than not for one simple reason: trust is missing or compromised. And the onus is on you—not them—to do something about that.
In the business of advice-giving, it is not enough to be right—you have to earn the right to be right.
Make It Real
This week, learn from your role models.
Bring to mind someone whom you consider remarkably influential—someone who succeeds at getting the best result for all parties while cultivating a strong relationship in the process. What makes this person so effective? What does she think, say, or do? Then, look inward. In what ways do you consistently apply the same best practices your role model applies? What opportunities do you see to improve your ability to be influential?
- Find out why being right is vastly over-rated, from our friends at Trusted Advisor Associates, or learn more about the dynamics of influence in Chapter 3 of The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook: A Comprehensive Toolkit for Leading with Trust.
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