You’ve heard the expression, “It’s not personal; it’s business” (popularized by one of The Godfather movies). I don’t buy that.

The CEO of a company I work with recently did something unexpected when he stopped by the class I was leading on Being a Trusted Advisor.

Last week’s tip focused on practicing improvisation as a true test of your ability to walk the talk of a trusted advisor.

You’d probably agree with me that great client relationships require planning, preparation, and deliberate effort. And I bet you’d also agree that great relationships are determined by how we handle the stuff we can’t anticipate.

If you’ve been reading these tips for a while you’ve probably noticed my tendency to focus on the “squishier” aspects of trust-building, like intimacy and self-awareness. I do this not because they’re more important (remember, all four variables of the trust equation matter) but because I think the “soft stuff” needs more attention than business people routinely give it.

If you’ve been to one of my workshops, you know I often assign something I call a 30-day experiment. The goal: to develop a new habit in an area of trustworthiness where you have the most room to improve.

You may have noticed I’ve been making up for lost time on the subject of listening and influence lately. Two weeks ago, I wrote about why your good advice isn’t getting taken (they don’t trust you). Last week, I shared what you have to do to earn their trust (listen). This week: practical advice on exactly how to listen.

Last week’s tip focused on the close relationship between influence and trust. This week, we take it one step further by revealing the specific aspect of trust-building that makes you more influential. It’s a surprising one.

I just looked back at the 33 weekly tips that we’ve shared over the past six months only to realize I’ve written shockingly little about the dynamics of influence. Time to fix that!