This post is part of our Weekly Tips series.
Bring to mind someone you know who’s confident without being arrogant, humble yet not overly self-deprecating, and generally enjoyable to be around. What is it that we universally admire about people with these traits? This week’s tip answers the question and helps us all be a little more like them.
In short, what sets these people apart is their comfort in their own skin. They’re at ease with who they are and who they aren’t. They know how to bring out their positive traits and make up for their weaknesses, when needed. They’re effective. Likable. Real.
Most people get this way by investing in knowing themselves and accepting themselves.
While I don’t have a magic elixir for self-acceptance (working on it), I can offer some thoughts on ways to know yourself better. Knowing yourself paradoxically helps you lower your self-orientation, which improves your ability to connect with others—an essential dimension of trusted advisorship.
Here are three ways to know yourself a little better, reprised from The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook:
One of my favorite sections in co-author Charlie Green’s solo book, Trust-Based Selling, is the one dedicated to the Oscar Wilde quote, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
It’s a lot easier to be yourself when you know who you are: the good, the bad, the ugly. Play to your strengths, manage your deficits, and in the process become more and more like those people you admire so much.
This week, begin a seven day experiment to boost your trustworthiness. Focus on one dimension of the trust equation (credibility, reliability, intimacy, or low self-orientation) and take small steps to build a new habit.