This post is part of our Weekly Tips series.

Being trustworthy—an integral part of getting real—requires more than following a behavioral checklist; it requires underlying mindsets, outlooks, and ways of thinking that we have to get right.

One of the five fundamental attitudes of leading with trust is “It’s not about you.”

Embracing an “it’s not about you” attitude requires that you recognize that much of what you hear, and of what happens, is not about you. Take the example of someone who appears to be angry at you. Consider that what you have might simply be an angry person in close proximity.

Mentally disassociating makes it possible for us all to spend less time managing our reactions and more time being present for others.1

1 Excerpted from The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook: A Comprehensive Toolkit for Leading with Trust

Bonus: Making it Real

This week, re-write your inner monologue.

When you hear that little voice in your head say, “I did something wrong” or, “They don’t like me,” reframe the issue in a way that takes you out of it. What else might be the cause? What’s going on in their world?

Make written notes.

At the end of the week, note what you’ve learned about yourself from this practice. What patterns or themes do you see?

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Andrea Howe

As the founder of The Get Real Project, I am the steward of our vision and our service offerings, as well as a workshop leader and keynote speaker. Above all else, I am an entrepreneur on a mission: to kick conventional business wisdom to the curb and transform how people work together as a result. I am also the co-author, with Charles H. Green, of The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook (Wiley, 2012).