The best way to close more deals and develop close relationships with clients might not match what you think it is. The fact is suggesting a competitor, as contradictory as that might seem, is the best way to build loyalty and win that buyer’s business, says Andrea Howe.

A big misperception among service professionals and salespeople is that trust building and influence happen in a linear and logical fashion, says Howe who presented a webinar Oct. 30, 2012, titled Take the “Sell” Out of Selling: 4 Key Behaviors that Drive Business Development. In reality, they’re anything but that. Trust is paradoxical.

“Paradoxically the best way to close more deals is to stop trying to close deals. Paradoxically the thing people are most afraid to say is exactly what will build the most trust,” she says.

And usually they’re most afraid to say someone else is more suited for the job.

“If we’re trying to convince someone to buy from us, we’re putting ourselves in the driver’s seat. We get really focused. We start with a pre-determined solution, or we get to that solution really quickly if we don’t come in with it. We get attached to the solution,” Howe says. “In short, we end up closing off the options for what is the best decision for that person right now, and I think at the same time we close off possibilities for the relationship.

The desire to help is what causes this to happen to service professionals, she adds.

“That desire we have to help can cloud our vision about what really is the best thing and impacts our behaviors in a way that we end up getting a result that’s not really the best result for us or for [the buyer],” Howe says.